Are you instant toast?  Or latent toast?

"HammerheadFistpunch" (hammerheadfistpunch) 04/11/2016 at 18:30 • Filed to: None

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FEMA possible nuclear target list Circa 1980

I’m pretty well and truly instant toast where I am now, but I could get to safety pretty easy.

Steve in Manhattan > HammerheadFistpunch 04/11/2016 at 18:33

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I’m pretty much toast ....

jkm7680 > HammerheadFistpunch 04/11/2016 at 18:34

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I’m very burnt toast.

HammerheadFistpunch > Steve in Manhattan 04/11/2016 at 18:34

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yeeeeah...sorry.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > HammerheadFistpunch 04/11/2016 at 18:35

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Uh, negative. I am a meat popsicle.

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > HammerheadFistpunch 04/11/2016 at 18:37

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I'm getting decently toasty

vicali > HammerheadFistpunch 04/11/2016 at 18:39

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Sitting in Canada with the popcorn..

HammerheadFistpunch > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 04/11/2016 at 18:39

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smoke you man!

HammerheadFistpunch > vicali 04/11/2016 at 18:39

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how’s your popcorn doing?

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > HammerheadFistpunch 04/11/2016 at 18:40

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Black circles and a triangle. Very toast.

Hot Takes Salesman > HammerheadFistpunch 04/11/2016 at 18:40

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Long Island, New York is fucking sunk in this scenario.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > HammerheadFistpunch 04/11/2016 at 18:41

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Yep, I’m boned...

dtg11 - is probably on an adventure with Clifford > HammerheadFistpunch 04/11/2016 at 18:42

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I’m instatoast

Spaceball-Two > HammerheadFistpunch 04/11/2016 at 18:42

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TOASTY!

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > HammerheadFistpunch 04/11/2016 at 18:43

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First strike target because of GE Aviation.

Frank Grimes > HammerheadFistpunch 04/11/2016 at 18:43

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why would they nuke utah there is nothing here except fry sauce.

You can tell a Finn but you can't tell him much > HammerheadFistpunch 04/11/2016 at 18:43

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I’m latent toast that just happens to be directly downwind from instant toast regardless of the scenario. Let’s see, toast is a 4 hour drive due west. Depending on winds and how high the blast cloud goes it would probably be about 4-8 hours before the radioactive snowflakes start falling on me.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > HammerheadFistpunch 04/11/2016 at 18:44

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All those black dots in ND, MT, CO, WY, and NB are in ground ICBM sites. So it just depends on which way the wind is blowing.

Spaceball-Two > Frank Grimes 04/11/2016 at 18:44

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Hill Air Force Base.

Little Black Coupe Turned Silver > HammerheadFistpunch 04/11/2016 at 18:44

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Hometown = Nothing

Current city = Black dot, for unknown reasons...

vicali > HammerheadFistpunch 04/11/2016 at 18:45

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a little chewy..

Why are they going to blow up the top of Idaho? There is nothing there.

Nymphicus Hollandicus > HammerheadFistpunch 04/11/2016 at 18:46

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I’m absolutely fucked, there’s absolutely no where for me to go since I live on Long Island

For Sweden > vicali 04/11/2016 at 18:46

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It is known that the Soviets would have spared Canada

HammerheadFistpunch > vicali 04/11/2016 at 18:46

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That’s just for a laugh.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > HammerheadFistpunch 04/11/2016 at 18:47

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Instant toast in both scenarios. Luckily I can drive literally any direction and get away from it.

vicali > For Sweden 04/11/2016 at 18:48

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Maybe no one lived in Canada yet in 1980..

HammerheadFistpunch > Nymphicus Hollandicus 04/11/2016 at 18:48

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well, look on the bright side...the VERY bright side.

vicali > HammerheadFistpunch 04/11/2016 at 18:48

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lol, we have a few extras - let’s have some fun..

MLGCarGuy > HammerheadFistpunch 04/11/2016 at 18:49

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I am instant toast and I will still be instant toast when I escape. Luckily I have Mexico as an option.

HammerheadFistpunch > vicali 04/11/2016 at 18:50

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“wouldn’t it be funny, you know, to just nuke the bears?”

“Oh man, yes!”

DrJohannVegas > HammerheadFistpunch 04/11/2016 at 18:51

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I grew up in a town which was on the “instant toast” (500 warhead radius) list back in the day, because of military/industrial significance, but now both of those companies are dust in the wind. So, I am gonna bet that an updated version of this map would look a bit different. It’s funny that, with all the discussion of other weapons, the specter of nuclear warfare seems further away.

DrJohannVegas > vicali 04/11/2016 at 18:53

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Canadians: First they want socialized medicine, then they want socialized threat mapping. JEEZ. GET YUR OWN FEMA, EH!?!?

CTSenVy > HammerheadFistpunch 04/11/2016 at 18:54

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vicali > HammerheadFistpunch 04/11/2016 at 18:55

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Ursus americanus?

Get’em

lone_liberal > HammerheadFistpunch 04/11/2016 at 18:56

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At that time I would have been toast since the local AFB had a B52 squadron assigned to it complete with nukes. Now the same base has KC-130 tankers assigned instead so that probably has changed.

Shamoononon drives like a farmer > HammerheadFistpunch 04/11/2016 at 18:56

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Yeah, San Diego. So many military bases that I’m surprised we’re not marked for worse.

vicali > DrJohannVegas 04/11/2016 at 18:56

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I’ve contacted the appropriate ministry, and this is what they sent;

HammerheadFistpunch > Shamoononon drives like a farmer 04/11/2016 at 18:57

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there’s a worse?!

Shamoononon drives like a farmer > HammerheadFistpunch 04/11/2016 at 19:02

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Looked like LA and San Francisco had more.

Frank Grimes > Spaceball-Two 04/11/2016 at 19:03

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Wait they know about that?!

yeah but thats far away from me.

Sam > HammerheadFistpunch 04/11/2016 at 19:04

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4 triangles and 2 black circles. Shit.

Spaceball-Two > Frank Grimes 04/11/2016 at 19:07

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Maybe they just really hate Scone Cutter and Crown Burger. Commie bastards.

CTSenVy > vicali 04/11/2016 at 19:08

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Military radar/sonar base.

interstate366, now In The Industry > HammerheadFistpunch 04/11/2016 at 19:11

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I’d have been screwed. South of Richmond, right next to Fort Lee (the triangle just southeast of the city) and northeast of Fort Pickett, which is the black dot nearby. At least I could head a bit northwest and be sort of safe, unlike those poor souls in Hampton Roads.

Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) > HammerheadFistpunch 04/11/2016 at 19:13

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I am liquefied toast in the northeast lol

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > HammerheadFistpunch 04/11/2016 at 19:17

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Martha’s Vineyard. We’ll survive for a while depending on time of year. If it’s winter, we’re limited by food stores and oil reserves. In the summer we’ll last longer (local agriculture ftw) but the power station here can’t run the entire island for long and has to be supplemented by underwater power lines. If power stops coming through those things will slowly start to slide downhill. Generally though, as long as we escape fallout our isolation from the outside world will be an asset.

Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 04/11/2016 at 19:17

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It's okay, all of those warheads would have launched to destroy the rest of the world ten times over

CTSenVy > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 04/11/2016 at 19:22

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Thanks to SAC in Bellevue, Omaha was always 3rd on the Soviet to nuke list.

Stapleface > HammerheadFistpunch 04/11/2016 at 19:38

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I’m in Jersey. I’m probably pretty much instantly glow in the dark

shop-teacher > HammerheadFistpunch 04/11/2016 at 19:47

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Instant toast! No hope of escape.

After September 11th, when I was still in Architecture school, I learned a couple of interesting things. The first thing I learned was that one of my friends/classmates was the daughter of the commander of the Pacific fleet. The second thing I learned (from her) was that the #7 ranked terrorist target in the nation, according to the DoD at the time, was in a building I could see out my apartment’s kitchen window.

DeLM > HammerheadFistpunch 04/11/2016 at 19:51

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i really don’t get the concentration on n dakota or wyoming? what’s up there?

spanfucker retire bitch > HammerheadFistpunch 04/11/2016 at 19:52

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Niagara Falls Dam and Air Force base have been on the target list for I don’t even know how many decades.

All my old brick schools (the high school is newer and doesn’t have them) still have Fallout shelter signs in and around the entrances. I wouldn’t be affected directly by the blast in Lockport, but my life would be very miserable very quickly.

norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback > HammerheadFistpunch 04/11/2016 at 20:24

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I’mwithin 10 miles of 3 nuclear plants so I’m SOL

sonicgabe > HammerheadFistpunch 04/11/2016 at 20:27

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Growing up in Tampa in the 1980s with MacDill AFB just miles away, we knew we’d go before Washington D.C. Once you figured out what CENTCOM was and that it was housed in our city, the Commie nuclear threat wasn’t so frightening. We’d be wiped off the map before anyone realized what happened. Life is good when there’s no need to worry about surviving in a post-apocalyptic nuclear winter.

leicester > HammerheadFistpunch 04/11/2016 at 20:32

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See that black splotch in the middle of the country? Grew up in the middle of those ICBM fields. Now toastily among the triangles in the upper left...

f-ducket > HammerheadFistpunch 04/11/2016 at 20:35

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Strange map for the 80s.

Blytheville AFB in Mississippi County, AR not listed. Nor is Loring AFB in Arrowstock County, ME. Both active SAC bases with nuke toting B-52s during the 80s. Actually, Loring was one of SAC’s largest bases and closer to the USSR than any other on the continental US.

gmporschenut also a fan of hondas > HammerheadFistpunch 04/11/2016 at 20:58

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truly fucked

what is quite funny was back in the 50's every town within a designated target area, had a duplicate town that residents were supposed to evacuate to. It was funny because

A) the odds of evacuating in time was slim

B) how would a small town of 10k people absorb a town of over 50k

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > Frank Grimes 04/11/2016 at 20:59

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Maybe they really hate Mormons?

gmporschenut also a fan of hondas > Stapleface 04/11/2016 at 21:06

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and before the nukes start flying!

KusabiSensei - Captain of the Toronto Maple Leafs > HammerheadFistpunch 04/11/2016 at 21:09

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I’m dependent upon the weapon yield. If the epicenter is KMGE (Dobbins ARB), I would survive the immediate impact of all but the multi megaton class bombs. Kiloton weapons, I’d be out of blast and pressure gradient radius, but still it wouldn’t be what one calls pleasant.

HammerheadFistpunch > DeLM 04/11/2016 at 21:10

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Missiles

DeLM > HammerheadFistpunch 04/11/2016 at 21:46

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ah, yeah didn’t even think of that. makes sense. but i don’t get why there wouldn’t be more around omaha then with it’s expansive minute man II network.

DeLM > HammerheadFistpunch 04/11/2016 at 23:01

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well that ended up taking me down the worm hole, 1st looking up/ for missile silos in google earth, then all the craters at the nevada test range then odd out of the way military bases. ahahah thanks; this has been a different sort of night.

user314 > HammerheadFistpunch 04/11/2016 at 23:05

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Burnt, pulverized toast.

HammerheadFistpunch > DeLM 04/11/2016 at 23:08

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Some of those wormholes trip are rad.

HammerheadFistpunch > user314 04/11/2016 at 23:09

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russian icmb’s “we put the pit in pittsburg!”

Gone > HammerheadFistpunch 04/11/2016 at 23:59

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Every town/city I’ve ever lived in has at least one triangle. And a bunch where I am now. No escape...

Dusty Ventures > HammerheadFistpunch 04/12/2016 at 00:26

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Not only am I inside a purple triangle, but my house is seven miles (an my job 700 feet) away from the reason there’s a purple triangle. I’m instatoast.

Jake Huitt - Two Alfas And A Nissan, Not A Single Running Car > HammerheadFistpunch 04/12/2016 at 04:29

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Denver, CO. If I get lucky and they only go for Cheyenne mountain, the USAF Academy, and Ft. Carson, I’m good. If they decide to take out DIA and Buckley AFB, I’m toast.

DeLM > HammerheadFistpunch 04/12/2016 at 08:13

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yes sir, they definitely are.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > HammerheadFistpunch 04/12/2016 at 15:01

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I’m in target of about 3 black dots and I think around 10 triangles

I’m triple toasted

Dru > HammerheadFistpunch 04/12/2016 at 16:11

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Probably latent toast. That black dot over Myrtle is probably the AFB that slick willy shut down circa ‘94. It is now a gentrified planned community full of new jersey retirees, thus equally deserving of annihilation. But the nuclear power plant 70 miles northeast is a solid target.

Frank Grimes > AMGtech - now with more recalls! 04/12/2016 at 21:40

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maybe the chinese are jealous of our large families?